Entry: The N.P.A. May 19, 2004



Apparently Werewolf Was Allergic To Peanuts
NEW ORLEANS—The werewolf who died while attacking a young woman Sunday must have been allergic to peanuts, experts said Tuesday. "The wolfman crashed through the intended victim's front window, but before the accursed beast could tear her apart in a savage fury, he stepped in a bowl of honey-roasted peanuts," said Dr. Alex Price, professor of lycanthropic studies at Tulane University. "Within seconds, the hellbeast's face began to swell, and he collapsed into an anaphylactic attack, unable to breathe." Price said that, had the werewolf not been more animal than man at the time of the attack, he likely would have used the epinephrine injection pen paramedics found in the breast pocket of his shirt.

That's right. Werewolves are not invincible!


It's time to fight back!

This proves that it's time for the National Peanut Act. Every person living in the United States should be required to carry a bag - no matter what size - of peanuts around at all times. This is not only a helpful public safety measure, but people will be encouraged to carry around more than one bag - just in case they get hungry.

Vote for the N.P.A. on June 21st. Let werewolves threaten us no longer!

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