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Jun 11, 2004
Okay, so there are a lot of things that sleep deprivation can cause, we've all been through that before. But there are a few things that a serious lack of sleep can cause that I, previsouly, was not aware were physically, or metaphorically even, possible.
For instance, on my morning bus trip, I figured I'd catch a few Z's, as they say, to make up for the time I had lost the previous night (or morning, if you're a technical freak). Well, this was fine, persay, because I did get a little bit of sleep, but, I also woke up with various gummy-like things in my hair, my nose, my left ear (further worsening my hearing problems in that particular ear), and a pre-chewed wad of something that immediately reminded me of that disgusting stuff that Starbucks puts on their tiny bite-sized free bagels. I like to call it Schmear Whiz.
So, there's this juicy wad of Schmear Whiz in my mouth. I would never, willingly that is, eat any of that stuff, because, for one thing, I really hate how it tastes (like the salmon flavored dentist toothpaste), but, even more importantly, is that it looks, at first sight, like those little tufts of frosting on Market Basket cupcakes, only with little bits of something, let's call it the Schmearfish, embedded in it. Not only is this what makes it taste like previously digested seafood, it also makes the Whiz look incredibly unpleasant. "Ick, what's that?" is a phrase that comes to mind; "That's food?" is another; "If you try to feed me that I will have to take an axe to your most sensitive cranial complexes," was one that came to be a few seconds later.
Anyways, my point, if anyone remembers, was that sleep deprivation causes wierd things to happen to people. I had bits of what for argument's sake I will call melted gummy bears in my hair, though I can imagine them being something much more disturbing.
That, to be blunt, was an extremely uncool scenario.
Another uncool experiance I had was around 4 hours later, when I fell asleep at my desk, and presumably had things thrown at me, but I did not awake until I had an unpleasant feeling in my left ear (again, what do you know), and to my surprise, awoke instantly and discovered a rather large, uncomfortable purple pencil lodged in my ear tube.
So, here's my piece of advice for today - the next time you are deprived of sleep, do not go anywhere, do anything that could relatively bring harm in your general direction. Stay at home, and sleep. Then make up excuses. It's far better than having Schmear Whiz in your mouth and having pencils stuck into your brain.
Trust me. I'm an expert.
Unfortunately.
Posted at 12:12 pm by Shrike
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