May 12, 2004
Obviously Not Obvious.

I would like to point out a few facts that I thought were common knowlegde, but apparently some people haven't quite grasped some of their simple concepts. Firstly, chairs are inanimate objects. They cannot talk, they cannot hear, they can't do any human-like activites. In fact, they can only do chair-like activities, mainly because they are chairs, and they cannot do much else. I thought this was obvious, but upon listening to a certain song by one Neil Diamond, it was brought to my attention that maybe some people didn't know this. One of the lyrics in the song is "nobody heard me, not even the chair."

People should aslo take into account the fact that the phone number '911' is an emergency line. It is used to report emergencies, such as fires, or murders, or catnaps or popped kidneys and things like that. It is not used as a homework help-line, which is one call that came in not too long ago to a station at which I have a friend who is a dispatcher.

Also, pianos can not really be considered weapons, though there was an incident a week ago in which one person a few towns over tried to attack another person with a piano. I really don't know how he did this - I can't even imagine it, and I'm not sure I want to - but I want to assure that fellow that there are plenty of other weapons to choose from that are probably much more convenient to use. Attacking someone with a piano might not get your point across. Although, I'd hate to see that on my obituary: "Cause of death: Attacked with a Piano."

And finally, cell phones should have never been allowed to have cameras. There is an entire new porn industry thanks to that little addtion there.

And it pops up on my computer every time I turn it on.

Damn you.

Posted at 12:26 pm by Shrike

 

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