Who has ever tried those flavored water drinks? ike Fruit-2-O, or that Crystal Ice stuff...And how many of you have spit in disgust after you tried them? My point today is that water has no flavor for a reason. It tastes good that way. It does not taste good when it seems people have let old Jolly Ranchers soak in their water supply for three days. Drinks should either be water, or, not-water. Like Gatorade. It tastes horrible, but at least it's not trying to be a water wanabe. Or Juicy Juice. Who didn't like Juicy Juice when they were a kid? That tasted great. It was pretty much water with a lot of flavoring, instead of a tiny little amount that would be hard to dectect even with an electron microscpe. Maybe those guys took Juicy Juice and tried to make it water, but failed, so they decided to sell that.

The killer, of course, is that you cannot tell, just by looking at the color of the liquid, whether it is regular plain old fine tasting water, or water with microscopic molecules of cranberry in it. I had this prank played on me by one of my friends. He handed me a glass of what looked like a cool, refreshing water-like constant, but was actually Cranberry flavored Fruit-2-O. So, in response, I decided to spit it out all over his kitchen, so I guess I got my revenge on him.

Now, it may not seem like a big deal right now...but what if these cruel water-mutating people continue to torture water in the way they do? In a matter of years, there might not be any refular water left! They drop their little microscopic strawberries into the oceans! And then all the fish will die, and the scientists will be baffled until one of them proves the 'strawberry poisoning' theory. Rain will taste like oranges, and everyone will try to drink it, but it will be acid rain! And then the death rate will skyrocket and the only people left will be the eskimos, because they don't drink rain, they drink snow.

See what you're doing? The planet will become a hive of fruit-starved people. We cannot let this happen. Boycott the sham-water that appears in your local Market Baskets and Shaws's. We can stan up to them...but first we need to create an army of vegetable flavored drinks. Only that will combat the evil of the fruit-flavored drinks.